RETIRING RETIREMENT

 RETIRING RETIREMENT

FAMILY HOME COMMUNITY LIVING CONCEPT 

BY BHARAT P. BEDI

Retirement is a time when we can sit back with a satisfied sense of living a life full of overcoming obstacles & coming out a winner. This is also a time to ponder about our future. As we age our dependency on others will also grow. Medically, Physically & Psychologically we will be vulnerable. This will further aggravate when one of the spouse will not be there for support.

We crossed all the hurdles to reach this position by sacrificing our then immediate needs for securing future happiness with our siblings. Our planning of future rested on two crutches of financial stability & family support. We have partially succeeded in financial parameters but failed in seeing the future of family life. We are living in a time where nuclear family has become a norm & joint family system is passe 

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Instead of crying we should try to face the situation as we had faced life. We had faced life stoically with the sole purpose that what troubles we are facing our siblings should not face them. To have a stable life & a decent home we have spent a lifetime in repaying loans but we should see that our children should not spend their life in debt like us 

Keeping this aim of our life in mind we should try not to become a source of burden or trouble for our loved ones. For the love of our loved ones we should willingly withdraw & give space to them to grow as per their wish. We have spent our life in accumulating but now’s the time to show magnanimity & loosen up in favour of our children. It is also a time when we have to live as a patron or facilitator of the family.

In the last years of life I have seen many living a wretched, frustrated & lonely life suffering in expectation that someone in the family could listen, respect & lovingly take care of them. To protect their hard earned pride they silently suffer cursing their luck till the time all alternate options are out of reach. This leads to souring of all relations & generating ill feelings. Instead of peace they live a troubled life full of negativity. This is why we should willingly take a conscious decision when we are capable.

To avoid all this & have a purposeful life full of good feelings & cordial relations we should voluntarily opt for one of the options. There are many ways by which we can have a good retired life free from worries of health, care, loneliness & companionship. To make it guilt free for all we can voluntarily opt for one of the options given below:

1

1. Family Home Concept. Most of us, except some like me, must be having an ancestral link to a village or a home. This defunct & derelict village home should be made use of as a family home. This house can be again converted into a Joint family home. We should make a choice where in old age when we need support we live alone in the city or make a conscious decision to live together with other family members. Youngsters are leaving villages & migrating to cities.

2. 2. For those who don’t want to settle in native place can settle in a serene place nearer to the city. A place which can provide a clean & pollution free atmosphere with easy access to facilities in time of need. Jointly we should plan a group housing. In this option we can have family members &/or friends as members.

3.  3.To settle in a senior citizen gated & assisted society or complex. Here all basic needs with health care will be looked after but it is expensive & costly.

4.  4.To get admitted in an old age home. Those who can afford are averse to it as it seems to be a stigma & the atmosphere is depressing.

For options 1 & 2 we should plan out the financial & maintenance aspects of the scheme.

1. 1.A cooperative society should be formed for financial aspects of the residential land & units. Just like we have housing societies in the city. Every member will be the owner of the area he will occupy & the land will be in the name of the society.

2. 2.A common kitchen should cater to all the residents. Servants to be employed for all cleaning work i.e. utensils, clothes, cleaning of rooms & bathroom & other maintenance work.

3. 3.All members should pay monthly remuneration for all the facilities enjoyed. This can include services of a Doctor/Hospital for regular medical check-up.

4.  4.Funds for the scheme can come from a member’s own resources or from their property in the city. The best way would be rent out the city property to their children. This way they can help/avoid their child from taking a big amount as housing loan & thus entire life repaying loans.

5. 5.Best part of the scheme is that we will be surrounded by pollution free nature & known people.

6. 6.Major friction points of distribution of work will be avoided as it will be taken up by the servants.

7. 7.In the event of being left alone, we will be assured of support of known people living in the same house.

8.  8.An elected committee should look after the affairs & must be changed at fixed interval.

Retirement is not the end of our productive & active world. If possible we should consider in making our life more meaningful. We can gainfully utilise our experience & knowledge by starting a venture &/or imparting it to those less privileged around us. In today’s technologically advanced world it can be achieved from anywhere. We don’t need to be based in a city.

Our generation has seen bigger houses with joint families. Houses in cities are cramped & boxed. Cities are polluted & over populated. We can help by moving away from the city & giving space to the younger generation. We should not transfer but rent out our city property to our children. Earlier houses were comparatively cheaper but now they are exorbitantly expensive.

We, who have settled in city, were able to own a comfortable house but not enough to hold ambitions & aspirations of new generation. We had different parameters governing our life but todays youngsters are career oriented & want to be focused. We should not become a source of their distraction.

The key to live a happy cordial retired family life is not to expect but voluntarily accept the changed compulsions. Willingly if we move out then we will be saving so much of ill-feelings & maintain harmonious relations. So that whenever we meet we meet in an amicable atmosphere with no expectation, remorse & guilt.

 

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